Hell Through Hoenn
by DemonFiccer
Summary: A new trainer begins his journey in Hoenn, at age 19! How will he do with a foul mouth and 19 year old May joining him? Rated M for lots of cursing, cartoonish violence, and maye a lemon in the far future still unsure .
1. Chapter 1 The Ship Begins

**Demon: Welcome to my new story!**

**ANBU: New story?**

**Demon: Yep. I decided to make a Pokémon story.**

**Sgt. Creeper: Porn?**

**Demon: Not really, but it may have some lemon in the far future.**

**ANBU: Hey, who the fuck is this guy?**

**Demon: First off, that is Sgt. Creeper, formerly known as Skagui the Sniper. Second, that is one of the reasons this is rated M.**

**Creeper: Fuck?**

**Demon: More specifically, cursing and violence. Also, some potty humor and the like. **

**ANBU: Seems legit to me.**

**Demon: Dumbass. Anyway, this will be an OC of mine having a journey with a girl from the anime. **

**ANBU: (jumping) Really? Who? Who?**

**Demon: Settle down, perv. You can come in, now. **

**(May enters)**

**May: Hello, everyone!**

**ANBU: YES!**

**Demon: So, the story will take place in Hoenn. However, May might or might not have the same Pokémon she had during the anime. **

**May: Most likely not. Eep!**

**(May faints and hits the floor)**

**Demon: What the hell was that?**

**Creeper: New gun. Shoots tranquilizers with excellent accuracy. You like?**

**ANBU: Yeah I do. Let's have some fun.**

**(ANBU heads towards May; Creeper shoots ANBU in the ass)**

**(ANBU falls to the floor)**

**Creeper: Perverted nut, huh?**

**Demon: Oh, yeah. By the way, all Pokedex entries will be from the Pokedex entries from Pokémon Emerald.**

**Creeper: Okay. **

**Demon: And all attacks up to Gen V will be available for the story, however those may be rare, as I have little in Gen V attack knowledge. Also, most Pokémon will be Hoenn based.**

**Creeper: Smells like Ruby or Sapphire.**

**Demon: Shut up. Now, enjoy!**

Chapter 1: A New Journey

Traveling at sea would seem like a great chance for fun and excitement to some, while it also would be seen as a floating hell-hole to others. Judging from the facial expression of one young man lying on a lounge chair, the latter would seem correct. The young man in question is known to the world as Chris Carmo. This bored traveler, believe it or not, is heading toward the Hoenn region to begin his Pokémon journey. Now, the reason most people wouldn't believe this is because most people who start their journey tend to be ten years old. So, it comes as a shock to those who discover this nineteen year old guy would be getting his first Pokémon.

Chris watched the many others on the ferry, many of whom with Pokémon of their own. With a passive look, he mentally noted a Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Hoothoot, Snivy, and Pacharisu, each with an energetic boy or girl. _'None from Hoenn. Damn.'_ He thought as he relaxed, pulling his Dratini hat over his eyes. _'Would have been nice to see one before docking. Oh well.'_ With the hat blocking his eyes, Chris didn't notice a sailor walking up to him. "Soccer fan?" the sailor asked suddenly, causing Chris to jump for a bit. "Yeah, a little." Chris answered after calming down. "The Dashing Dratinis are my favorite team." He continued.

The sailor nodded. "You from Kanto?" Chris shook his head. "No. Actually, I'm from an area near Unova. But, the teams stationed there suck ass." The sailor chuckled at the colorful response. "I hear ya. Did you see the Zipping Zebstrika team last season? They outta change their name to Zebstrika Zero." Both shared a hearty laugh at the lousy team's expense.

"So, what are you doing heading to Hoenn, Soccer games?" Chris shook his head. "Believe it or not, I'm actually starting my journey in Hoenn. I'm getting my first Pokémon when we arrive in Littleroot Town." The sailor was surprised by Chris's answer. "Wait. Aren't you, like what, 18? Why wait so long to start your journey?" The sailor asked him. Chris sighed, pulling his hat over his eyes again.

"Well, I'm really 19. See, I wanted to wait a few years to make sure I was able to stand up to the challenge. Last thing I need is to start my journey and go crying home to mommy a week later." The young man explained. "As a teen, I took a few trips here and there to Kanto, Johto, Sinnoh, and Unova. But, I never was able to visit Hoenn. So, I figured it'd be a good place to start." The sailor nodded in understanding. "Got it. I actually got my first Pokémon when I was 13. That's when I started working as a sailor. Check out my partner." The sailor pulled out a Pokeball, pushing a button. The ball opened with a flash of light, releasing a brown star-shaped Pokémon.

"A Staryu. Cool choice." Chris responded, slightly interested. Recalling Staryu, the sailor nodded. "You'd be surprised what you could catch fishing." Chris nodded, and was about to speak again when the PA system activated. **"Attention passengers. We will dock in Littleroot Town in five minutes. Prepare to disembark."** The sailor wished Chris good luck and wandered off. Smiling slightly, the boy stood up, grabbed his large blue backpack, and headed for the edge of the boat. Seeing the town approaching quickly, Chris sighed and turned away. "I guess it's time to start my journey." He muttered, taking a step and falling into the pool. Popping out of the water, he shouted, "God damn it!"

(Hell Through Hoenn)

Walking through the fields, a young woman of 19 was heading towards Littleroot Town, an egg in her hands. Having traveled through Hoenn once before years ago, May Maple remembers quite a bit of the route she was on. "Just think, only a few years ago, I started my journey with a Torchic, and now I'm heading back to Professor Birch's lab to see about my egg." May smiled down at the green egg she was carrying.

"I can't believe Ash sent me this egg two months ago. After deciding to travel with Misty for a while, I didn't think I'd hear much of him again." She smiled and continued to Birch's lab. _'Once you hatch, little fella, you're going to help me begin my contests here again, and this time I will win the Grand Festival.'_ She thought gleefully, heading towards the lab.

(Hell Through Hoenn)

After departing from the ship (and being scolded by a number of mothers for cursing near children), Chris found himself walking through town, hoping to find a store selling supplies and maps. "I'd better start right, or else I really will have to go home crying to mommy. I sure as hell won't do that." He muttered to himself as he looked through the building windows. Finally, he finds a PokéMart nearby and enters.

Ten minutes later, Chris exited the mart with a bag full of medicine, food, a map, and a red mark across his face (earned from the shop merchant after he cursed stubbing his toe on the sales counter). "Humph. In Unova, nobody gave a rat's ass about someone cursing. Hell, the toddlers did it more than I do." He complained as he looked through the map, looking for Birch's lab. Unknowingly, he walked onto the street. Suddenly, Chris heard a horn honking. He had enough time to look up to see a jeep speeding towards him.

Thinking quickly, Chris jumped to the sidewalk, accidently hitting a street lamp as well. "Fuck! That hurt!" The boy shouted as the jeep stopped. Turning his face, Chris saw a large man with brown hair, a brown beard, and a white lab coat exiting the jeep. "Are you alright, son?" the man asked Chris. "Yeah. I guess I should watch out where I'm going more." Chris apologized. The man saw Chris pick up his map and scan the town page, looking for something clearly.

"Are you unable to find something you're looking for?" The man asked calmly. Chris rolled his eyes. "No. I found that spot ten minutes ago. I'm just looking again to see if it changed." Chris answered sarcastically. After a second or two, he sighed. "Sorry, I'm just a little pissed because I can't find Professor Birch's lab, and I nearly got run over a moment ago." The man sighed and turned towards his car. "Well, if you're looking for my lab, you can come with me."

Chris did a double take as he turned to look at the man. "You mean you're Professor Birch?" He asked, shocked. Birch nodded and smiled. "Shit, I'm sorry about that. Wait, I mean damn. Wait, fuck. Wait, ugh." Chris dropped his head. "God damn it all." He muttered, which the professor heard. "Well, anyway, come on. I'll take you to the lab." As the two drove towards the lab, Birch couldn't help but ask, "Did you happen to fund your trip here through a swear jar?" much to Chris's chagrin.

**Demon: Well, chapter 1 of Hell Through Hoenn is done. **

**Creeper: I still don't get why you did this, and not another AFIN or LSLV chapter.**

**Demon: Well, those will be during the school year for sure, but I needed to do something. Boredom sucks ass.**

**(ANBU groggily wakes up)**

**ANBU: What about who's ass? Oh, May! All right! **

**(Creeper shoots ANBU again, knocking him out)**

**Creeper: Damn pervert.**

**Demon: By the way, my next Hell Through Hoenn chapter may take a while to finish. It might not. Just be patient.**

**~DemonFiccer~**


	2. Chapter 2 Decisions, Decisions

**Demon: Welcome back to Hell through Hoenn.**

**Creeper: Dude, what about AFIN?**

**ANBU: Or LSLV?**

**Demon: Shut the fuck up! I'm working on them. **

**Creeper: Prick.**

**(Creeper gets slapped from behind)**

**Creeper: Ow!**

**Snivy: Dumbass.**

**ANBU: Snivy? What are you doing here?**

**Snivy: Demon invited me here.**

**Demon: Yep. Creeper here shot May with a tranquilizer, and she's still recovering.**

**Creeper: Damn.**

**ANBU: Uh, where's May recovering at?**

**Demon: Nice try, perv. **

**ANBU: Damn. Well, maybe I can try other possibilities… (sees Snivy)**

**Snivy: Try it once and I'll rip your dick off and shove it up your ass!**

**ANBU: Backing off now.**

**Demon: (sweat dropping) Well, let's move on to the chapter.**

Chapter 2: Decisions, Decisions

At the lab, professor Birch and Chris were walking down a long hallway. "So, you're starting here? Good choice. Hoenn's well known for the many different Pokémon native to the region, as well as excellent weather patterns." The professor explained to the trainer, who was smiling slightly. "Good to know," Chris said. "I was hoping this would be a good place to start, and aside from one thing, I think I chose right." Birch looked at Chris, confused. "What makes you unsure?" Chris sighed and pointed to his face, the red mark finally starting to fade.

Birch laughed and patted Chris's shoulder. "I get what you mean. Thing is, some people get a bit apprehensive about cursing in Hoenn. Of course, many people have no problems with it at all. The tricky part is figuring out who is who on that scale." Chris nodded and noticed they were at a door. "Well," the professor started. "Behind this door is the beginning of your journey." Chris smiled as the door slid open.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

May was relaxing at the bus stop at the edge of town, her egg in her arms. _'I wonder how Professor Birch is doing. I haven't seen him in a while. Not since Max got his Mudkip and traveled to find Ralts.' _She smiled, remembering the Ralts and the pact Max had made with it so long ago. "Now, Max is off traveling and doing who knows what, and I still have yet to win a Grand Festival." Sighing, she looked at the egg. "I wonder what you'll hatch into." She said quietly as she saw the bus approaching.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

"Wow. This lab is very high-tech. It's even more advanced than Professor Elm's lab." Chris mused, impressed by the machines in the lab. Birch smiled. "Well, Elm has a habit of falling behind on upgrading his lab. Sometimes, he'll forget about the newest upgrade and wait until it's obsolete to install it." Both laughed a bit about the forgetful Elm. Birch led Chris to a table with three Pokeballs under a glass dome.

"Now, Chris. You'll get the choice between these three. You're the only new trainer today, so you can pick whichever you want." Birch explained, punching a few keys on a keyboard attached to the table. After three beeps, the glass dome opened, freeing the Pokeballs. "But, before I let you pick, I think you should get something else first. Just to help you decide." The professor walked over and picked up a device that looked somewhat like a Gameboy Advance. Handing this device to Chris, Birch continued. "This device is known as a Pokedex. It is a detailed encyclopedia, full of information about the Pokémon known up to date. Use it to scan the three Pokémon before you decide which one you want to keep."

Opening the Pokedex, Chris was blinded for a second as a flash came from the small device. A few seconds later, an image of the trainer appeared on the screen. A female voice spoke from the Pokedex.

"_**I am Dextette, a Pokedex designed by Professor Birch to aid new trainer Chris Carmo. I am to provide Chris with information related to the many known Pokémon. If lost or stolen, I cannot be replaced." **_

Chris was amazed by the device, but managed to hide it well. "Thanks for the Pokedex, professor. Now, let's see these Pokémon." He requested, his Pokedex at the ready. Professor Birch nodded and reached for a Pokeball. Picking the first up, he threw it up in the air. In mid-air, the ball opened, releasing a flash of white light that formed into a creature with large, yellow eyes, a red stomach, and a large, green tail. "Treecko!" the Pokémon said excitedly. "Chris, say hello to Treecko, a Grass type." Birch announced. "Awesome. Nice to meet you, Treecko." Chris said as he held Dextette up to scan the Pokémon.

_**"Treecko, the Wood Gecko Pokémon. Treecko is adept at climbing trees, and can walk on walls and ceilings using tiny spikes on its feet." **_

__Nodding, Birch picked up the second ball, also throwing it up in the air. This time, the light formed into a small orange and yellow chick with a yellow three-feathered crest on its head. "Tor?" The creature said hesitantly, looking at the teen. "This is Torchic, a Fire Pokémon." Birch explained. Chris smiled. "I love seeing Fire types." He said as Dextette scanned the chick.

_**"Torchic, the Chick Pokémon. Torchic is warm to the touch due to the flame inside its body. Torchic are able to shoot fireballs at over 1800 degrees Fahrenheit." **_

Birch threw the last ball, which released a blue Quadra pedal creature with a large blue fin on its head. "Mudkip!" the creature cheered. Birch looked at Chris. "This is Mudkip, a Water type." Chris smiled at the Pokémon as Dextette spoke again.

_**"Mudkip, the Mud Fish Pokemon. Mudkip can use the fin on its head to detect water flow, and is able to move heavy boulders effortlessly."**_

"All three would make an excellent starter Pokémon for sure." Chris said as he looked at the trio standing in front of him. Kneeling down, Chris tried to get a closer look. Treecko and Mudkip smiled sweetly at that moment, while Torchic seemed to freak out. "Tor!" Torchic screamed, firing a number of fireballs at Chris. "Ow! Ow! Damn it!" The human shouted as the flames burned him at close range.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

May was watching the scenery pass by, sitting peacefully on the bus. "I wonder if Professor Birch is even at the lab." May said to herself. "I know he tends to go off on field work." She shrugged her shoulders, clutching the egg case carefully. "Attention. Birch Laboratory approaching." The driver announced to the passengers. Being the only one heading to the lab, May stood up and headed for the door. After leaving the bus, she walked through the front doors of the lab. _'I hope he's here.'_ She thought as she walked through the lobby.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

"I'm sorry about not telling you about Torchic's temper." Birch said as he handed a Burn Heal to Chris, who was currently behind a dressing screen. "For some reason, Torchic has a nasty temper at times. Because of that, he's been left here for over a month. The Treecko and Mudkip were brought to me just yesterday." He explained.

Chris sighed, his silhouette hunching over slightly to spray the medicine. "It's alright. I should have figured a Fire type would be such a spitfire. Still, right now I'm less pissed about being burned and more pissed about my clothes. I bought those clothes and that hat only a couple months ago, dammit!" The silhouette picked up a shirt hanging on the screen and dressed himself.

"I'm really sorry about that. If there's anything I can do…" Birch said before being cut off. "Don't worry about it. I should have watched out for Torchic's Ember attack. I'm at fault here." Chris finally walked out from behind the screen. Instead of the blue jeans and sleeveless blue shirt he wore earlier, the trainer was now wearing a pair of black jeans with a vertical purple stripe and a purple sleeveless shirt. A black short sleeved vest jacket was covering his shoulders and hid the purple shirt's lack of sleeves. On his head was a purple Dratinis hat, which covered most of his brown hair, leaving his blue eyes exposed slightly.

Walking to the end of the hall, Chris tossed what remained of his jeans, shirt, and blue Dratini hat into the trash bin, reluctantly walking away afterward. "Well, at least I know which starter I want." He said, trying to forget his ruined clothes. Birch smiled as they headed back to the lab. "Good. So, should I prepare Treecko's or Mudkip's ball?" He asked, walking to the table. Chris walked to the table and retrieved his undamaged Pokedex. "Neither. Professor, I choose Torchic." He said confidently.

Professor Birch did a double take as he stared at the trainer. "Are you sure? Even after what just happened?" He asked skeptically. Chris nodded. "Torchic may have a serious temper, but seeing the fighting spirit it has convinced me. I feel like I've been challenged to rid Torchic of his asshole attitude, and I can only say, 'Challenge Accepted.'" The professor nodded in understanding, picking up Torchic's ball.

"Okay, then. Here you go." Chris received the ball and shrunk it down to its smaller, Ping-Pong ball size. Birch walked over with a small box containing five more shrunken Pokeballs. "You can use these to capture new Pokémon and build your team. Hoenn has a wide variety of Pokémon you can choose to train." He told the trainer, who clipped the six balls to his belt. "I guess I should get going then. Thanks for everything, Professor. And also, thanks for not having a problem with my cursing." Birch chuckled and patted Chris's shoulder. "Don't worry. I've heard worse than that in Unova."

Chris headed back to the lobby when a young woman entered the hallway, clutching a case with a green egg. "Professor Birch, I'm back for a visit! How are you?" May said excitedly. She opened her eyes to see Birch with a young man with six Pokeballs on his belt. Unable to help themselves, each asked the other curiously, in unison, "Who the fuck are you?"

**Demon: Chapter 2 is finished.**

**Creeper: Yeah, maybe now you can work on AFIN.**

**ANBU: No, LSLV!**

**Snivy: No, both!**

**(All three begin arguing with each other)**

**Demon: God damn it, guys. I'll work on them soon. Read and Review everyone!**

**(All three begin scuffling in a dust cloud of violence)**

**Demon: Damn it, guys!**

**~DemonFiccer~**


	3. Chapter 3 Traveling Together

**Demon: Welcome back to Hell Through Hoenn.**

**Creeper: Need I even…**

**Demon: I have enough e-mails from your ass and others telling me. Look, I'm going to work on those sooner or later. At least I'm doing something!**

**May: Can I ask what the fuck happened to me earlier?**

**Creeper: You got in the way of my shot. Sorry, bitch.**

**May: What did you call me?!**

**Snivy: Chill. Believe me, you get used to his dumbassery.**

**ANBU: Hey, I gotta go for now. I'll be back later. The new porn shop's opening today.**

**(ANBU leaves)**

**Demon: Either he is extremely messed up or he's planning to get you, May.**

**May: Don't worry, my Blaziken can kick his ass to Pluto.**

**Creeper: Uh, okay. Let's get to the next chapter.**

**Demon: What's with you?**

**Creeper: I don't want to get fried by a chicken.**

**(Blaziken pops out of his Pokeball)**

**Blaziken: Blaze! (I'mma fuck you up!)**

**Creeper: Shit! **

**(Creeper runs off, Blaziken follows)**

**Demon: Damn it all.**

Chapter 3: Traveling Together

After about half an hour of explaining everything to each other, Chris and May were acquainted, and Chris was finally ready to leave Birch's lab. "Bye, professor. I'll contact you later on." Chris bowed in respect and headed out to the door. Soon after exiting the lab, he found his way to Route 101. "Okay. Now, which town is the closest?" The young man asked himself as he scanned the map. "Let's see. Odale Town. It looks like that's the closest town." Rolling the map up, Chris began walking down the Route, heading to Odale.

"I wonder what I'm going to do during my journey." Chris said aloud as he passed a bush. Suddenly, the bush nearby began to rustle. He turned to see what would pop out. Sure enough, a small Pokémon jumped out of the bush. It was a Quadra pedal creature with brown and white striped fur. "Zagoon." It called, seemingly challenging Chris. "What is that?" Chris asked, pulling out Dextette.

_** "Zigzagoon, the TinyRacoon Pokémon. Zigzagoon are commonly seen walking in a zigzag pattern, and are adept at finding items seemingly from out of nowhere."**_

"A Zigzagoon, eh?" Chris asked as he pulled Torchic's ball off his belt. "A Normal type will be a good test for Torchic. Come on out, buddy!" Chris threw the ball, which released the chick Pokémon instantly. Torchic looked at Chris with a pissed off look, signaling to the trainer shit was about to go down. "Uh oh. Torchic, focus that anger of yours toward Zigzagoon. Use Scratch!"

Torchic ran towards Zigzagoon, ready to scratch up the Pokémon. Zigzagoon dodged quickly and used Tackle on Torchic, which was a hit. Skidding back a few feet, Torchic threw an Ember attack at the raccoon Pokémon, who once again dodged easily. _'Damn it. How are we supposed to win if nothing lands?' _Chris thought as he saw Zigzagoon run in its trademark zigzag pattern. _'That's it!'_

"Torchic, use Ember to your left!" Chris called to the chick, who threw the Ember to the right instead, much to Chris's chagrin. Needless to say, the attack missed again, and Zigzagoon hit Torchic with a powerful Headbutt, which knocked Torchic into Chris, also rendering the small Pokémon unconscious. Pleased with itself, Zigzagoon ran off into the bushes again, leaving Chris dumbfounded and pissed. "Torchic, I'm not blaming you, but if you followed my command, we'd probably have beaten and possibly captured Zigzagoon." The human muttered, then relaxed. "Still, you did a great job there. Take a good rest." He added, returning the fainted Pokémon to its ball.

Walking back to the lab, Chris couldn't help but feel guilty for his anger towards Torchic. _'I'm a new trainer. Even if Torchic has a temper, even if I'm 19, I'm still a new trainer and must show responsibility as one.' _He thought as he entered the lab. Working at the table nearby was professor Birch, who was looking at May's Pokémon egg. "Your egg is in excellent health. It should hatch into a healthy Pokémon any time now." Birch told May, much to her relief.

"Thanks. I wonder what it'll hatch into." She said, looking at the green egg. "I'm back." May looked up to see Chris walking back, a bit tense. She smirked a bit. "What happened? Torchic mess you up again?" She asked sarcastically. Chris shook his head. "Actually, no. We battled a Zigzagoon and lost. I wanted to get Torchic rested for when we leave again." He explained, placing Torchic's ball into the healing machine. Five beeps later, the chick Pokémon was fully rested.

Chris retrieved the ball and clipped it to his belt. "So, how's your egg?" He asked seriously. May smiled sincerely and looked back at it. "It's in good health. Professor Birch said it should hatch any… whoa!" May stopped herself as she saw the egg glow brightly. Birch took a look and gasped. "May, your egg is hatching!" The three surrounded the egg as the white light formed into a new shape, hatching into the new Pokémon. After the light dimmed down, the baby Pokémon was in the egg's place. It opened its eyes and spoke.

"Chika!" The little green Pokémon smiled at May, who happily hugged the little creature. Chris pulled out Dextette to scan the little Pokémon.

_**"Chikorita, the Leaf Pokémon. Chikorita loves to sunbathe and will lie in the sunlight for hours on end. It can use the leaf on its head to test weather conditions."**_

__"A Chikorita! Awesome!" May happily cuddled the leaf Pokémon, enjoying its company. After a few moments, May grabbed the Pokeball from the top of the egg case. "Alright, Chikorita. Let's go on our journey together." May said as she expanded the ball. Chikorita agreed, tapping the button of the ball against her head, capturing her in the ball.

Noting the time, Professor Birch invited both trainers to spend the night at the lab, so they could resume their journeys tomorrow. As they were prepping their beds, May and Chris were busy watching over their new partners. "Rough beginning, huh?" May asked the young man, who sighed and nodded. "Our start sucked ass for sure. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. Oh, sorry about the cursing." He added. May waved it off. "Don't worry, I've heard and said a lot worse. I have no problems with cursing." Relieved, Chris recalled Torchic to rest in its ball, while he slept in the bed. May, deciding on the same, recalled Chikorita and got into her borrowed bed.

"Hey, May." Chris said quietly. May turned her head. "Yeah?" Chris sighed. "Are you into contests or gym battles?" May smiled a little. "My heart is in contests. In fact, I plan on re-entering the Grand Festival this year in Hoenn. I also wanted to start fresh, which is why Chikorita is my only Pokémon right now. My others are back home, getting a much-needed rest." Chris nodded. "I think I'm going to try the gym challenge. I watch the championships every year for each Region. Of course, watching them and competing in them are two very different things."

May nodded her head in agreement. "I know what you mean. When I first saw a contest, I thought it was easy. Then, I lost my first contest badly. That's when I realized it took a lot of work to succeed." She explained. Chris yawned and agreed. After a few silent moments, Chris spoke up again.

"May, I have a question." May turned her head to him again. "What is it?" She asked. Chris cleared his throat and continued. "To be honest, I've never seen Hoenn before, so I'm really lost here. Because the gyms and contests are aligned perfectly so, would you mind if we traveled together?" May looked at him in disbelief. He sighed and went on. "You've traveled around Hoenn before, so you know where everything is. Plus, you've lived here your whole life, as you said earlier. Would you mind guiding a rookie trainer through the region?" He finished and waited for a response.

"Sure." Chris looked at May, who was smiling. "I'll gladly travel with you. It's always better traveling in a group. Plus, you're right. If you need help navigating around here, I can help you with that." Chris let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, May. I appreciate it." May smiled and closed her eyes. "No problem." As both relaxed into sleep, they both muttered to each other, "Good night."

**Demon: Well, there's chapter 3.**

**May: I wonder what will happen next.**

**Snivy: I don't know. Demon, honestly, will you get back to LSLV soon?**

**Demon: I'll see. Honestly, I'm kinda out of ideas for now on it. I'll do my best, though.**

**Snivy: That's all I'm asking.**

**Demon: So, read and review people.**

**May and Snivy: No flames!**

**Creeper: Fuck!**

**(ANBU walks in)**

**ANBU: I got porn! Oh shit!**

**(Creeper crashes into ANBU, knocking everything out of his hands)**

**Blaziken: Blaze! (Got you now!)**

**(Blaziken uses Flamethrower on Creeper, ANBU, and ANBU's porn, destroying the latter)**

**ANBU: My porn! NOOOO!**

**Demon: Aw, fuck me running.**

**~DemonFiccer~ **


	4. Chapter 4 Friends, Old and New

**Demon: Welcome back!**

**Creeper: …**

**Demon: No, LSLV is still on its temporary hiatus.**

**Creeper: Fuck.**

**Snivy: It's alright. At least you got AFIN updated.**

**May: AFIN?**

**Demon: A Friend in Need. It's a Sonic story, May.**

**May: Oh, okay.**

**ANBU: Will these two fuck yet?**

**(May slapped ANBU across the face in anger)**

**ANBU: Ow!**

**Demon: Serves you right, pervert. And no, they aren't.**

**May: Phew.**

**Demon: Alright, let's get onto the chapter.**

**Snivy: Oh, Demon. I almost forgot. What about your friend GoodWriter?**

**Demon: What?**

**Snivy: He hasn't shown up on your newest stories. What gives about that?**

**GoodWriter: What gives about what?**

**Snivy: Damn! **

**Demon: Yes, GoodWriter is here now, too. **

**GoodWriter: Now, onwards!**

Chapter 4: Friends, Old and New

The next morning, May and Chris were preparing their belongings for the journey. "Hopefully, this time will be better than yesterday." Chris muttered, packing the map into his pocket. May giggled. "Well, jumping the gun is a bad way to go about your journey. Trust me." She said, recalling Chikorita. Chris sighed in defeat and recalled Torchic.

At that moment, Professor Birch walked into the lobby. "Good to see you haven't left yet." He said to the pair of trainers. Turning to May, he pulled a Pokedex out of his pocket. "May, I figured you should have your Pokedex updated, since the information has been expanded." May pocketed the device and bowed. "Thank you, professor." She said happily. As the two left, they waved goodbye to the professor, heading to Route 101 (for Chris, again).

"I hope I don't run into that damn Zigzagoon again." Chris complained. May was looking around, probably for new Pokémon. "Well, maybe we'll find other Pokémon here." She said, still moving. Chris sighed and pulled his hat down lower. Before he could reply, the bushes next to him rustled, getting his attention. Suddenly, out jumped a small worm-like Pokémon with a number of small spikes on its body. "Wurm." The worm said, glaring at Chris.

"That's a Wurmple!" May said, interested. "I caught one of them before. Without speaking, Chris pulled his Pokedex out and scanned the worm.

_**"Wurmple, the Worm Pokémon. Wurmple uses its spiked back to protect it from predators, and can walk on glass vertically using the suction cups on its feet."**_

__Chris smirked. "Alright. Now, Torchic, let's do this right!" The chick Pokémon burst from its ball, ready to fight. "Tor!" Wurmple charged towards Torchic with a Tackle attack. "Torchic, dodge that!" Torchic jumped, avoiding the worm. "Now, use Ember!" Chris called. The chick turned around and fired a number of fireballs at the worm Pokémon, which couldn't get out of the way. Angered, the Wurmple used String Shot, wrapping Torchic up and slowing it down. "Torchic, use Focus Energy!" Torchic focused itself and burst through the string. "Good, now use Scratch!" Chris called. Torchic ran forward, slashing Wurmple with its claws. "Wurmple." The Pokémon fell down, exhausted.

"Chris, throw the ball now!" May called to the trainer. Chris reached down and grabbed an empty Pokeball. "Right. Pokeball, go!" Chris said as he threw the ball towards the downed worm. Before the Wurmple could do anything, the ball hit the top of its head, opening up and converting the Pokémon into a red energy and sucking it into the ball. Chris watched intently as the ball shook a few times, ready to continue battling if needed. Finally, the ball stopped shaking and the button stopped glowing, a sparkle accompanying the dull 'ding'.

"Yes!" Chris picked up the ball and beamed. "I caught the Wurmple." Torchic started calling its name in victory before being recalled. "Thank you, Torchic." Chris said to the ball, placing both on his belt. "Well, that's one Pokémon added to my team." Chris said, turning to May. The girl was clapping for the boy's achievement. "Good work, Chris."

"Yeah, good job, buddy!" May and Chris turned to see a young man walk up to them. The young man looked around 20 or so. He had blonde hair that was slightly spiked at the front, his bangs hiding his blue eyes a little. His slender frame was covered by a red shirt with a Rapidash on it. His pants were a dull red with a black zigzag stripe down the legs. The young man also wore a pair of red fingerless gloves. "How have you been?"

Chris smiled and offered his hand. "Dude, it's been far too fucking long!" After shaking the man's hand, Chris turned to the stunned girl. "May, this is Zack. He's an old friend of mine back home. He went on a journey about two years ago, and I haven't seen this motherfucker since." Turning back to Zack, Chris nodded. "So, you starting over here or are you just fucking around?"

Zack shook his head. "Compared to where I've been, you curse worse than a crew of sailors. And no, I'm actually traveling around now. My gym challenge days are over. Now, I just capture and train Pokémon while I journey around wherever I choose to go." He explained, pointing to his black belt. "I've been here for about a month. Professor Birch actually allowed me to have a new Pokémon. I chose this guy after some psycho ass Torchic nearly cooked my nuts with its Ember attack." Zack threw the ball into the air, releasing a Pokémon.

"Treecko!" the Pokémon said excitedly, looking around at the new people. Chris was surprised. "So, you have a Treecko. Nice." He complimented, shaking hands with the Wood Gecko. Zack nodded. Yeah, I caught a couple Pokémon here and there and started raising them. In fact, I have two others with me right now."

The blonde boy threw two more balls, revealing a small red Pokémon with a small bill-like mouth and a flame pattern on its stomach. The other Pokémon was a tall pinkish Pokémon with a pouch, which contained a white egg.

Chris held up his Pokedex, scanning the two new faces.

"_**Magby, the Live Coal Pokémon. Magby's body temperature can reach over 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit, and it spits yellow flames when it is healthy.**_

_**Chansey, the Egg Pokémon, and the evolved form of Happiny. Chansey is very compassionate, sharing its eggs, which have healing properties, with injured people and Pokémon."**_

Chris pocketed the device and whistled at the trio of Pokémon. "Very impressive, Zack. Right now, I've only got a Torchic and a Wurmple. And sorry to deliver bad news, but the 'psycho ass Torchic' is the Torchic I have, so be careful." Zack sweat dropped. "I kinda figured that one. It was very aggressive for a young starter." He said nervously. Chris sighed. "Well, he's also kind of mad because we lost to a Zigzagoon yesterday. Hopefully, his asshole behavior will stop soon." All three made a chuckle about that last remark.

May spoke up this time. "So, Zack. Would you like to travel with us? I'm doing my contests, as well as guiding Mr. Dumbfuck here around the region." Chris glared at May for her little nickname for him, but relaxed. _'I've been called worse than that,'_ He thought as he looked at Zack. _'And by Zack, no less.'_ Zack thought for a moment before making his decision. "Alright. I could use a guide around Hoenn as well." The blonde recalled the three Pokémon and clipped the balls to his belt.

The three began walking towards Odale Town, where they planned on staying the night. As May walked ahead of them, Zack leaned in to whisper to Chris. "So, did you tap that yet?" He asked, referring to May. Annoyed, Chris punched Zack in the arm. "First off, I wasn't planning on it. Second, even if I did, I've only known her for a day. Who do you think I am, Charlie Sheen?" Chris sarcastically asked. "By the way, if you say something like that in front of her, I swear to Arceus I will kick your fucking ass." He threatened the blonde.

Zack shrugged and ran ahead of May. "Alright, welcome to Odale Town!" He announced, pointing to a small town about a mile away. "We'll stay at the hotel room I booked this morning. We'll head off tomorrow." May and Chris agreed, heading to the town sign. Zack, already thirty feet ahead of them, called back. "Let's go, May. You too, Dumbfuck!" May burst into laughter, while Chris's face changed to annoyance. "I hate both of you!" He shouted as they entered town.

**Demon: Alright, there's chapter 4.**

**Creeper: Dude, this is kinda short.**

**Snivy: Yeah, why isn't this one longer?**

**May: Don't worry about that. At least he's updating.**

**ANBU: Big-tits here has a point. At least he's updating.**

**May: What the hell did you just call me?**

**ANBU: Oops. Shit!**

**(ANBU runs away)**

**May: Damn pervert.**

**Demon: Oh, Arceus. Can't we ever get through a chapter without someone running away in fear or someone getting maimed?**

**Snivy: Nope.**

**Creeper: No way.**

**May: Not likely.**

**ANBU: FUCK!**

**Demon: Frickin' figures. Oh well, read and review!**

**(ANBU stops in front of the camera for a moment)**

**ANBU: No flaming, or else no Ms. Big-tits. Shit!**

**(ANBU runs off again, Blaziken chasing after him)**

**Demon: Damn it.**

**~DemonFiccer~**


	5. Chapter 5 Petalburg, Ho!

**Demon: Welcome back to Hell Through Hoenn.**

**Creeper: Dude, right now this is T- shit. Where's the M stuff?**

**Demon: Don't worry. That's coming up starting this chapter.**

**Creeper: Dem two fucking?**

**GoodWriter: Must you always be foul-mouthed?**

**Creeper: Yes.**

**Demon: No, "Dem not fucking."**

**Creeper: Shit be whack, yo.**

**Demon: Fo Shizzle, Master Rizzle. Now shut up and pay attention.**

**Snivy: Was that another TFS reference?**

**Demon: Yeah.**

**GoodWriter: I'm almost expecting ANBU to come out here and imitate George Takei.**

**Snivy: Looks like ANBU's not here.**

**Creeper: Where is he?**

**Demon: Oh, he went off to replace the porn he lost earlier. **

**(GoodWriter walks in, carrying a letter)**

**GoodWriter: Demon, you have mail.**

**Demon: Really? (Takes the envelope and opens it)**

**(As Demon looks over the letter, May continues)**

**May: At least he won't cause trouble this chapter.**

**Demon: That motherfucker!**

**GoodWriter: What's wrong?**

**Demon: ANBU, you bastard! He used my credit card for his fucking porn!**

**GoodWriter: That sucks, dude.**

**Creeper: Yeah, not only does it look bad, but it's a bitch to get that erased from your history.**

**Demon: Uh, how do you know that?**

**Creeper (pausing): Shit happens?**

**May: Okaaaayyy. Let's get to the chapter. **

**Demon: Good. May, take over for now while I sort this shit out.**

**(Demon leaves the room)**

**Creeper: Man, is he going to be pissed later.**

**May: Why?**

**Creeper: Well, I kinda used his credit card when I bought a flamethrower.**

**GoodWriter: But, isn't it illegal to own a flamethrower here?**

**Creeper: Why do you think he's going to be pissed?**

**(A knocking is heard at the door)**

**Creeper: Shit.**

**May: Don't worry. I'll go keep his ass out of prison. Enjoy the chapter.**

Chapter 5: Petalburg, Ho!

The next morning, Chris and May were standing outside the Pokémon Center, annoyed. "You know," Chris began, "you would think that Zack would know that when you reserve a hotel room, you're supposed to pay a fucking deposit." May sighed in exasperation. "I know. It's a good thing the Center had three beds available when we arrived. Otherwise, Zack would probably have a really sore ass right now. Speaking of which, where is he?" She asked.

"Hell, I don't know. He said he had something to take care of back in the Center before we go." Chris said, pulling his hat down. "If it's what I think it is, I'm really going to be pissed." He muttered. May turned to look at him. "What do you think he's doing?" She asked curiously. Chris sighed, pulling the hat lower. Before he could respond, a loud shouting was heard from inside the Center.

"Oh, Arceus! Yes! Harder, Zack! Harder!" May's face flushed redder than a Tomato Berry. Chris face palmed himself. "Well, Zack tends to have a bit of a _'reputation'_, if you get what I mean." Chris explained, humiliated. May covered her face, stepping away from the boy. "Sorry, Chris. I don't want to be associated with you or him, at least until we get out of town." May apologized. Chris just nodded. "Don't worry, I don't mind. I wish I could do that, too."

After twenty minutes of shouting and moaning emanating from the building, Zack walked out, pocketing a piece of paper. "Alright, guys. Let's roll!" Looking around, he saw Chris and May standing at the edge of town, towards Route 102. Walking over, Zack scratched his head. "What's wrong? Why didn't you guys wait for me?" He asked, confused by their actions. Chris snorted. "Sorry, but if I stayed there a moment longer, I'd probably jizz my pants and would've had to change." Chris said sarcastically. May giggled at the sudden snark. "Damn. Didn't expect that answer." She said as the trio began walking the route.

After walking for a few hours, battling a couple of young trainers, and Chris keeping Torchic from killing someone, the group decided to have a rest. While May went off to gather some firewood, Chris looked intently at his friend. "Zack, you might want to slow down on your 'endeavors'. You embarrassed the hell out of May earlier." Chris said solemnly. Zack paused for a moment, then began laughing. The purple clothed boy fell over, shocked his friend would just laugh for nothing like that.

"Chris. I can't believe you got embarrassed about that. Remember how we shared a room back in high school during the summer Pokémon information class?" Zack said, chuckling. Chris sat up and sighed, exasperated. "Yes, I do. I also remember getting sock blocked from my room and bed, usually three to four times a week! How you didn't get kicked out of the class is beyond me. I'm just glad I was able to sleep in the lobby of the dorms those nights." Chris thought for a moment before continuing. "How the hell **did** you keep the class instructor from expelling you, anyway?" The blonde just blushed slightly and scratched his head. "Well," he began, "I kinda spent some _'tutoring'_ time with her during the course."

Someone could have heard a pin drop as Chris stared at his buddy for a moment. Finally, he spit off to the side. "I will never think of Ms. Fennel the same way ever again." He muttered, standing up. "Alright, changing the subject here. Want to have a battle? I want to train my Wurmple a bit." Zack hopped up and pulled a Pokeball from his belt. "You're on! Go, Magby!" The fire Pokémon exploded out of the ball, ready to battle. Chris released his Wurmple as well, prepared for battle.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

May was gathering small sticks to use as firewood, enjoying the peaceful forest. _'It's so calm right now. I remember last time I traveled through here, a bunch of Seedot chased after me.'_ The brunette laughed as she picked up another stick. Suddenly, she looked up to see a small blue Pokémon limping across the edge of the lake. Standing straight, she noticed the blue creature had a blue tail, shaped like a ball.

"Aw, the poor little thing." May said softly as she walked towards the Pokémon. By the time it saw her approaching, the girl managed to get close enough to see it clearly. "It's alright. I'll take you back with me to heal. My friends know what to do." She said sweetly as she gently picked up the blue Pokémon, heading back to her two friends.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

"Wurmple, use Poison Sting!" Chris called, causing the worm to shoot poisonous needles at the Live Coal Pokémon. Magby tried to jump out of the way, but got hit too quickly to avoid it. "Magby, no!" Zack called in shock. Magby lay on the ground, swirls in its eyes. "Alright! Wurmple, we won!" Wurmple spun around and celebrated. "Wurm!" the worm exclaimed before being surrounded in a bright light. "Whoa, what the fuck's going on?" Chris asked, surprised. Zack, also surprised, recalled his Magby unconsciously. "Dude, your Wurmple's evolving!"

The two watched as the white form of Wurmple changed into a round shape. A few spikes appeared to grow out of the round form. Once the light died down, a cocoon with large red eyes stood where the worm Pokémon was. After blinking its eyes a few times, it spoke. "Cas?" Zack got out of his stupor to realize what happened. "Dude, it evolved into a Cascoon!" Dumbstruck, Chris pulled out his trusty Pokedex, scanning the cocoon.

_**"Cascoon, the Cocoon Pokémon, and an evolved form of Wurmple. This Pokémon remains in its cocoon form until it evolves, storing energy. It is said that it never forgets the face of an enemy."**_

Cascoon jumped up a couple times, seemingly excited for its achievement. Chris smiled. "Congrats, Cascoon. You worked hard for this." He said as he picked up his buddy. "Cas!" Cascoon announced, a strange shimmer coming across its body. Suddenly, Cascoon felt a bit heavier in Chris's arms. "Damn. What happened?" Chris asked. Dextette spoke up from his pocket.

_** "Harden, a move learned by some Pokémon to increase their defense abilities in battle."**_

__Smiling, Chris turned Cascoon to face him. "You did a great job battling Magby." Suddenly, May walked out of the forest nearby, carrying some sticks and the injured blue Pokémon. Chris and Zack walked over, checking out the blue creature. "I found it injured near the lake." May explained. "I figured we could help it better here." Zack nodded. "Of course. I've actually caught an Azurill before in Sinnoh. I'll help it out." Zack took the Azurill from May's arms and headed to his bag. As May sighed in relief, Chris pulled his Pokedex out again to scan the blue Pokémon.

_**"Azurill, the Polka Dot Pokémon. Azurill loves to bounce on its springy tail, which is filled with nutrients important to its growth."**_

__"Well, damn." Chris said as he walked over to see the Pokémon.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

After Zack managed to treat the Azurill, the Pokémon was thrilled to be around the group, more specifically May. As they approached the gates of Petalburg City, May leaned down to pet the Azurill. "I think it's time you go back home, Azurill." She calmly told the Polka Dot Pokémon. Azurill shook its head and rubbed its tail against the girl's leg. Chris turned and smirked. "Looks like Azurill's gotten close to you. Why don't you catch the little guy. I'm sure Azurill would make a good team member." He said. Looking at Zack, he continued. "Maybe Azurill could help keep Zack in line." May and Chris shared a laugh at the blonde's expense, who was currently focused more on a woman walking into town.

"Aha. Pussy alert!" Zack shouted, bounding into the town after the brown-haired woman. May, Chris, and Azurill just stared into the direction he took, sweat dropping. "Once again, I don't know him." May said, Azurill nodding in agreement.

Thirty minutes later, the humans and Pokémon found themselves standing in front of a shopping mall, waiting for Zack to exit. "Normally, I'd be all over the mall," May sighed, "but this time, I'll make an exception." Chris, meanwhile, was leafing through a guidebook he purchased at a nearby stand. "Well, it looks like there's a gym here. Right?" He asked the girl, who nodded. "Yeah, in fact, my dad's the person running it." The book dropped from Chris's hands as he received the detail. Facing her, he bent down and picked up the book. "No shit?" May smirked. "No shit." Chris was about to say something, but was interrupted by a woman's shouting. "I said no! I am married, goddammit!" May and Chris turned their heads to see a bummed Zack next to a pissed off woman; the same one he ran after.

However, one of the group noticed the woman more. "Mom?" May asked in surprise, getting a shocked reaction from everyone else. "May, what are you doing here?" May's mom asked in surprise. After a few tense seconds of digesting what just happened, Chris hung his head and pulled is cap down. "Fuck."

**Creeper: Damn, what a chapter.**

**Snivy: I can't believe what happened at the end. How embarrassing.**

**GoodWriter: I wonder what'll happen when Norman finds out.**

**Creeper: Don't even want to think about it.**

**(May walks in with two FBI agents)**

**May: There he is, officers. Take him away.**

**(The two agents grab Creeper)**

**Creeper: What the fuck is this?**

**FBI Agent 1: You're under arrest for identity theft and possession of an illegal weapon.**

**FBI Agent 2: You're coming with us.**

**Creeper: I don't fucking think… **

**(Snivy knocks Creeper out with a strong slap on the head)**

**FBI Agent 1: Thanks for your help.**

**(The agents take Creeper away)**

**May: Alright, read and review!**

**GoodWriter: No flames!**

**Demon: Can someone get me out of these fucking cuffs?!**

**(Three hours later, Creeper is in a cell; an officer outside the cell)**

**Officer: Bail is set for $5,000.**

**Creeper: Fine.**

**(Creeper reaches into his glove and pulls out a credit card, handing it to the officer.)**

**Officer: Good.**

**(Officer leaves; Creeper smiles)**

**Creeper: Thanks for the generous gift, Snivy.**

**~DemonFiccer~**


	6. Chapter 6 Practice in Petalburg

**Demon: Welcome back to Hell Through Hoenn.**

**Creeper: New chapter?**

**Demon: Yeah, it's… wait, how the hell are you here?  
Creeper: Bailed out. I learned my lesson, too.**

**May: Good. We don't need more identity theft… ANBU.**

**(ANBU lazily listens in, reading a porn magazine)**

**ANBU: Sorry about that. My cards got revoked. Something about too many illegal purchases or something.**

**May: Somehow, I'm not surprised.**

**(Snivy bursts in, furious)**

**Snivy: You son of a bitch!**

**(ANBU jumps up in surprise)**

**ANBU: Good God, what the fuck happened?**

**Snivy: Creeper used my credit card to bail himself out!**

**(All turn to Creeper, who starts stepping back)**

**Creeper: Uh, thanks for your support?**

**Snivy: You bastard. Get over here!**

**(Snivy chases Creeper out of the room)**

**GoodWriter: Can't we have one chapter without someone trying to break the fifth commandment?  
Demon: So far, apparently not.**

**ANBU: So, what? It adds to the interest.**

**(A rock smashes through the window, hitting ANBU in the head and knocking him out)**

**May (whistles): Stoned like biblical whores.**

**GoodWriter: Judging from his reading material, it seems fitting.**

**(Demon looks out the window and begins laughing)**

**GoodWriter: What's so funny?**

**Demon: Check this out.**

**(The others see Snivy chasing Creeper and throwing rocks at him)  
GoodWriter: Wow.**

**Demon: Alright, now let's get to the chapter.**

Chapter 6: Practice in Petalburg

"Un-fucking-believable." Chris muttered as he and Zack walked towards the Gym, following May and Caroline. Seeing the blonde whistling, the trainer elbowed Zack in the ribs quickly. "Ow, what was that for?" Zack asked, annoyed. Chris lifted his hat, pointing to a small bump on his head. "Let's see. Either because you tried to hit on May's mom, or because my cursing as a result pissed her off. Take your pick." Chris spat venomously, getting Zack to step back one step.

"Well, how was I supposed to know she was married, or that she hated cursing?" The blonde asked, waiting for a response. Knowing he had a point, Chris just sighed. "Touché. Still, can't you just try to hold off a bit? I want to travel without brain damage or a smeared reputation." Zack just laughed and walked faster. "I'll try. But first, I'm getting in her pants." The blonde chuckled, referring to May's mother, Caroline. Chris pulled his hat down again. "Hopeless."

May and Caroline were busy talking, trying to keep their conversation secret from the boys. "May, I think you should travel without them." Caroline said, looking back slightly at the blonde. May shook her head. "Sorry, but no. I want to travel, and I'll travel with whoever I choose." Turning slightly to see Chris, she continued. "Besides, I already promised Chris I'd guide him around Hoenn. He hasn't traveled long. In fact, he only started his Pokémon journey about a week ago." Caroline's eyes widened as she stole a peek at the purple-clad trainer, who was keeping his face hidden with his hat.

"How has he not traveled before? He's what, nineteen?" Caroline asked, surprised. May tapped her nose. "You got it exactly right. He said he wanted to be well prepared for traveling, which is why he waited so long." She said, facing forward again. "Besides," she continued, "he's really nice and sweet. His friend is a bit fucked up, but he's really not that much worse than Brock was." Caroline sighed and nodded. "Alright, then. If you want to travel with them, go ahead. Just don't let your father know what Zack did earlier."

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

Finally, the group made it to a large building with a Pokeball symbol on the doors. A small sign in the yard read "Petalburg Gym. Leader: Norman". Chris smiled as he saw the entrance to his first gym. "Okay, let's go." He said as he entered the room. However, as soon as he opened the door, a large beam of energy shot through the entry, sending the trainer back into the street. Thinking quickly, May and Zack pulled Chris out of the street just in time to avoid a mail truck passing by.

"What the hell was that?" Chris asked, slightly dazed. Sitting up, he noticed a man and a Pokémon running up to them. The man was about as tall as Caroline and had short black hair. His skinny frame was clothed by a red sweatshirt and black training pants. "Are you okay, son? I didn't mean to hit you." The man said sincerely, offering a hand. Taking the man's hand, Chris stood up and stretched. "It's alright. I just didn't expect that is all." Chris said, shaking off the pain.

Relieved, the man smiled. "Good to hear that. My name's Norman, and I'm the Gym Leader here." Chris bowed and looked at the Leader. "My name's Chris. It's nice to meet you." Chris took a moment to look at the Pokémon that attacked him. The creature was about 2 feet tall and teal colored. A small cream colored area was around its neck. "Munch." It walked over and started looking the human over. "Sorry about the attack. Munchlax launched a SolarBeam from Metronome and it just got out of control." Norman apologized. Chris smiled as he pulled out Dextette. "Munchlax, huh?"

_**"Munchlax, the Big Eater Pokémon. Munchlax is capable of swallowing food whole, and is known to hoard food by hiding it in its fur, some of which it forgets about.**_

_** Metronome, a Normal-type attack. Using Metronome can cause the Pokémon to use any move at random."**_

__Pocketing the Pokedex, Chris chuckled. "I didn't think Munchlax would have that kind of power." Munchlax, apparently unhappy with the human's comment, used a well-placed Tackle directly into Chris's crotch. "Eep!" The human shouted in a high pitched voice, grabbing his crotch and falling to the ground.

Norman reached for his Pokeball to recall Munchlax when he heard some laughter. Looking over, he saw Caroline, May, and another boy together, all laughing at Chris's plight. "May, what are you doing here?" Norman asked as he recalled the Big Eater. May managed to stop laughing to answer. "Well, I'm traveling with Chris through Hoenn. He's a new trainer and wants to battle the Gyms." Quickly, Norman returned his attention to the downed trainer, still squeaking in a Soprano and holding his manhood.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

After suffering for an agonizing half-hour, Chris was sitting in the living room of May's house, which was attached to the back of the Gym. "Sorry about Munchlax." Norman said, rubbing his head. "Sometimes, he can be a bit of a hassle." Chris nodded. "I know what you mean. I have a Torchic that, well, it can be a real asshole." Chris tensed, waiting to get slapped or bopped for his cursing. After a moment, he opened his eyes. Nothing.

Norman chuckled. "Don't worry. I have no problem with people cursing. In fact, I have a habit of it sometimes. Caroline hates it, but she's developing a tolerance to it." Chris sighed in relief. "That's good to know. Around here, I've been hit a few times for it. In Unova, the toddlers staying near the daycare would curse more often than I do, and I'm actually holding back." Everyone, minus Caroline, laughed at that. Caroline instead muttered something about "irresponsible parents letting their kids curse".

Chris finally remembered the point of visiting the Gym in the first place. "Excuse me, Norman. I have a favor to ask." The man sat up, listening. Chris saw this as a point to continue. "Well, I'm planning on traveling and challenging the Gyms. Would you mind having a battle with me?" Norman smiled and stood up. "Well, yes and no." He said. Walking to the trainer, he explained.

"You see, I only battle trainers who have four or more badges. The reason I do that is to make sure they are ready for the challenge. If a trainer's Pokémon aren't used to the serious battling, they have little chance of winning. However, I will have an unofficial battle with you. This just means it'll be for fun, not for a badge." Chris nodded and stood up. "Great. Can we battle now?" He asked eagerly. Norman nodded and began walking to the door. "Follow me." The Leader announced, going through the door.

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

The battle room of the Gym was simple: a rectangle field with two trainer's boxes on the narrow edges. On one side, Norman stood, confident and ready for battle. On the other side, Chris stood, looking slightly nervous. May and Zack sat on a bench against the wall, ready to watch the battle. Caroline stood up on the box near the center of the field, holding a green flag in her right hand, and a red one in her left.

"Because this is an unofficial match, I will act as the judge. Each trainer will use one Pokémon with no time limit. Chris will get the first move. Begin!"

Chris reached for a Pokeball, expanding it. "Alright, then. Cascoon, let's go!" Chris called, throwing the ball. Cascoon burst free in a flash of light, its eyes serious. "Cas." Norman grabbed a ball out of his pocket and threw it. "Let's go, my friend."

The ball opened, revealing a brown sloth-like Pokémon with a pink snout and brown stripes on its back. "Slakoth!" the creature said lazily, scratching its head. Surprised, Chris scanned the creature in his Pokedex.

"_**Slakoth, the Slacker Pokémon. Slakoth spends most of its time lounging in trees, and its diet is said to be one leaf per day, due to its low metabolism."**_

Chris pocketed the machine, staring at the Slakoth in wonder. _'What kind of abilities does it have?' _The human thought to himself. Caroline raised her flags swiftly. "Battle begin!"

"Cascoon, use Tackle!" Chris called. The cocoon rushed quickly towards the Slakoth, who simply lied down to dodge, shocking the cocoon and human. "Now, Slakoth. Use Scratch!" Norman commanded. Slakoth hopped up and swung its claw at Cascoon, causing some damage to the Pokémon. Jumping back, Cascoon panted slightly. "Cascoon, Harden!" Hearing Chris's call, Cascoon's body began to shimmer slightly, raising its defense. Chris looked up, waiting for Slakoth's next move. But, it didn't do anything at all!

"What the hell? It's not moving?" Chris said to himself, amazed. Norman smirked. The younger trainer decided to attack. "Cascoon, Poison Sting now!" Cascoon fired a number of purple needle-like spikes at Slakoth, who appeared to take some damage. "Yes!" Chris cheered, seeing the effect on Slakoth. Norman, however, was unmoved. "Slakoth, Slack Off!" To Chris's surprise, Slakoth just lied down, glowing slightly.

"Not good." Zack said, seeing Slakoth glowing. "Slack Off causes the user to recover energy, making it difficult to defeat the Pokémon. Chris needs to focus on Slakoth's ability to win this." May nodded in agreement. "Does Chris even know Slakoth has Truant?" She asked, looking at the trainer. Zack sighed. "I don't think so. Did you see how shocked he was when Truant kicked in? He didn't know what was going on."

Chris watched as Slakoth stood up, completely healed and refreshed. Again, however, Slakoth stood there simply now, not moving. _'Wait a minute. Why isn't Slakoth moving again?'_ He thought as he saw Cascoon panting. "We can't screw around anymore. Cascoon, Poison Sting!" Cascoon fired more spikes at Slakoth, who took the full hit from them this time. "Slakoth!" the sloth shouted as it fell back, seemingly poisoned by the attack.

"Now's our chance! Cascoon, Tackle!" Cascoon charged at Slakoth, hoping to hit it full force. "Slakoth, stay strong! Use Flail!" Norman called out. Slakoth stood up again, this time swinging its arms wildly as it shouted. Cascoon, surprised by this, held back a little. Unfortunately, it was too much, as Slakoth's Flail overpowered Tackle, sending Cascoon flying back and knocking it out.

"Cascoon is unable to continue! Slakoth wins! The victory goes to Norman, the Gym Leader!" Caroline announced. Zack nodded. "That was clever. Flail does more damage when the user took a lot of damage, which Slakoth did. Not only that, but by using Flail, Cascoon didn't know what was happening, which made it back off slightly." May sighed, holding her head. "If Chris knew about Truant, he'd probably have won that battle."

Chris and Norman both recalled their Pokémon; Chris because Cascoon was out, Norman to let Slakoth relax. "Chris, that was a good battle. If you had taken into account Slakoth's Truant, you'd probably have beaten him." Norman said to the trainer. Confused, Chris pulled out Dextette. "Truant?"

"_**Truant, an ability shared by Slakoth and Slaking. It causes the Pokémon to loaf around every other move, unable to attack."**_

"Damn it. How could I have missed that one?" Chris muttered as he pocketed his device. "At least I see why Slakoth kept standing still so often." Norman walked up and patted Chris on the shoulder. "You worked hard there. I'm impressed. We'll have another battle once you gather four badges. Agreed?" Chris smirked and nodded. "Agreed."

**(Hell Through Hoenn)**

Everyone was walking back to the front of the house. Norman decided to allow Chris and Zack to spend the night, rather than walk back to the Pokémon Center. As Chris began setting up a little blanket in the corner to sleep on, Norman walked up. "So, I hear May's traveling with you to guide you around Hoenn." Norman said softly, so the others won't hear. "I can tell by looking at you that you are a good person, just like her old traveling partner, Ash. If you and May decide to start dating, I approve."

Chris blushed like crazy and shook his head. "It's nothing like that at all, I swear!" He hushed, trying not to overreact. Norman just patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm just saying that if you two do start, I approve." Leaning closer, he continued. "Just don't let Zack near her, okay? Caroline told me about the shit he pulled with her today. I think I'll wait until you guys return to show him. Let him think he got away with it." Chris chuckled slightly, his blush disappearing. "Alright, I'll keep that part for sure."

Soon, everyone decided to turn in. Norman and Caroline slept in their own room, as did May. Zack was sleeping in the living room on the couch. Chris was lying in the corner of the living room, thinking about what Norman told him.

"_If you two start dating, I approve."_

Holding back a blush, Chris pulled his hat over his eyes. "Un-fucking-believable." He muttered as he fell asleep, Norman's words still in his mind.

**Demon: Alright, chapter 6 is done.**

**May: I can't believe Dad said that to him.**

**GoodWriter: I'm surprised he didn't go "shotgun father" on him.**

**May: No, knowing Dad, he'd sick his Slakoth on him.**

**Demon: Well, I figured he had enough shit to deal with for now, he needs some comfort.**

**May: Yeah, even if it's just not the threat of death.**

**GoodWriter: This was a pretty long chapter.**

**Demon: Well, most Gym Battle chapters will be pretty long. They'll either be one or two parters.**

**May: I wonder when ANBU will wake up.**

**GoodWriter: I don't know. Maybe I should hide this stuff for now.**

**(After putting on a pair of gloves, GoodWriter moves all of ANBU's porn from the room)**

**GoodWriter: There we go. Also, we have company.**

**(Snivy walks in, dragging Creeper by the collar)**

**Snivy: Ah, so worth the money.**

**(Demon sees Creeper holding his crotch and whimpering)**

**Demon: Snivy, what did you do?**

**Creeper: You know how a kidney stone is passed?**

**Demon: Yeah.**

**Creeper: She sent a small stone through the path in reverse.**

**(Demon and GoodWriter cringe)**

**Demon: Ouch. That sucks.**

**GoodWriter: Amen to that.**

**Creeper: Okay, no more credit card theft.**

**Demon: Good. Now, read and review!**

**GoodWriter: No flaming!**

**Creeper: Ah, it hurts!**

**~DemonFiccer~**


End file.
